Fruitloops are like gay cheerios!!!!!HEHE!!!

im grounded 4 a month so i wont be on.... sorry

i'm back and i guess i can say that i had "fun" lol but im back soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...............................................HI!!!!!

im going to be gone for a couple of days and i just want to let you know so u wouldnt think that im igorning buzznet!!!!! i'll miss u guys!!!!!! *MUAH*

love,

jocy

i dont know if people have been noticing that i havent been on buzznet recently and its been a while or wait was it a while or longer......i dont know im sorry for abandoning u guys i just have been having a very busy weekend *sighs* i'll try to go on more often i miss talking to all of u!!!!! i send lots of love!!! muncho besos!!!! *muah* love u guys!!!!

 

Love,

theundeadcorndog (Jocy)

HELP ME

Help me, I am falling down

And I can't stop

I am going down a bad road

And I can't turn back

Yet, I know it's wrong

but I can't stop myself

I want to take the chance

I wish I could remember

The days it was all-good

Like when I was a little kid

Before my life was changed

To before I took your life

I would want to go back

To tell you so many things

But most of all that I am sorry

Gosh, I need you

You were my support, my best friend

But now you're gone

And it's my entire fault

Because I couldn't stay sober

I miss you so much;

I've gone into a state of depression

I am going crazy, I don't know what to do

I have no one to blame but myself

Please forgive me...

ABUSE

The untold truths

of wisdom lie

solely in the beating

of the heart of an

i'll-treated child

whose wounds will

heal and heart will seal, but memory will never die...

Lost Emotion

My insides have contorted,

twisted deep inside.

My vision has distored,

my emotions wilted in time.

The will to fight

and to extinguish pain.

To summon night

and to dry the rain.

Lost in time along with my love and my hate.

In this emotionless state.

Darkness

Something hard to explain

you are in darkness when you are in pain

get it out of your brain

if it was your fault, dont be ashamed

get rid of the blame

fight, and see what you obtain

I know you don't see it,

A temporary blindness

but it exists,

it's called darkness

do not fall in the same hole twice

be wise and open your eyes

life is like a cave

dont look back, walk straight

walk towards light and dont take a break

don't rest until you are there!!!

I beileve everybody knows that pete and ashlee got married yesterday and im here just to make sure u get that information. I'm a little upset that pete married ashlee because i really dont like her but thats the only reason because i dont have a crush on pete. my heart belongs to Patrick Stump :] and also its been confirmed that ashlee and pete are expecting their first child. In the beginning they denied it but i had a feeling it was true. i can't wait for how the teenies react when they hear pete is married!!!! this is to be fun!!! but then i should say its ok pete's fans there r other guys out there who r way hotter!!!!! geez

 

love ya,

jocy

Here is my best friend chris (vampie)!!!!!! I known him for a while now and i love him to death!!! He is the person who i can count on with my most percious secerts and he never lets me down. I see him as my older brother lol u should see how we r at school :] its pretty funny. I know for a fact if u meet chris u'll love him and if anybody messes with him.....ur dead....lol but anyways....I LOVE YOU CHRIS!!!!!!

Here is my babe casey (arcticpuppets) i have known her since 5th grade....ahhh good memories. She is my favorite person. she is also my bestest friend who i can count on but we do have our days when we can't stand eachother but we manage to get over it. I love her to death and i will never leave ur side and if anyone hurts her or any guy breaks her heart watch out for jocy cause i'll kick ur a**.....hehe....I love u Case!!!!

 

Here is liz (vampiregurl) i love her she is my step-sis. she is always there when nobody else is and she always listens to what i have to say. I love her so much that i'm glad we became sisters lol even though sometimes i want to kill her but hey that's what sisters do...lmao...yeah she always knows how to make me feel better when im sad and she always knows how to make me laugh when i need it to recover from being bored...she is a very cool person to hang with and once again mess with her well u know lol.

 

*sighs* well where do i start lol....lets say she is fun, cool, hip, werid, and funny as hell....she is Alyssa she is one of my funniest friends. i trust her and she always there to hear me out. she is wacky and thats y we get along so well...lol....and when she always needs help im right there. i met her this year but we became really good friends....I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU ALYSSA :]

MAY-MAY i dont know how i should start describing may may. she is an awsome friend she is freakin hilarious and is totally not afraid to act stupid and she brings out my stupid and geeky side. lol. she is always making me laugh so hard that i soon start to tear and then start crying...lmao. She is a real cool person i dont know what i'll do without u buddy!!!!

 

My friend munkay (munkay) i love her she is werid and funny in her own little way. i can always count on her!!!! she is me bestest friend but i also see her as my sister. i'll always go to her for advice and guy problems lol. she is the best!!!! I love u munkay and i always will memba i have ur back :]

 

CAREY (funnybunnyismyname and or kittyhasworms) I LOVE U CAREY!!! i met this crazy friend on buzznet and she is an awsome friend. she is always cracking jokes and making me laugh so hard i pee (jk) she is the best she is funny, werid, random, and easy to talk to. I love carey to death and always will. we will be best friends forever!!!!! she is my homie c lol and if u hurt her i will kick ur a**...but other than that u will love her!!!

 

im going camping for the weekend so im not gonna be on buzznet for a while :( but i will be back on monday....im not excited because we are leaving at 5 in the morning....ha what fun? be expecting alot of pics

 

lots of love,

jocy :)

I was walking home and it was freezing outside. I have walked three blocks already and Patrick wasn't behind me. I was a little disappointed. For some reason hoping that he would run after me, then pull me back and we would share a passionate kiss, but I know for a fact that would never happen. The way he talked to me back there, well that really pushed my button. I was right every man is foolish but I'm more foolish for allowing myself to start having feelings for him. I was turning the corner and into an alley and I got to say the alley was creepy. I have to walk twenty blocks to get home and I hate taking the public bus people scare me and I like to walk in the winter time. I love staring up at the sky and watching the little snowflakes falling down and landing on earth for the first time. I inhaled deeply and as I did that I had a little tingly feeling running down my back but I ignored it. I just kept walking and I had a feeling that I wasn't alone. I can feel somebody's presence. I can feel myself being watched. I don't know what to do. I could start running but I don't want to look like a coward. I'll just keep walking till I feel I'm some place safe. I was about to cross the street until Patrick stepped in front of me and said,

"What is your problem? What did I do to you?"

I just looked at him with an aggressive stare and I believe he understood since he stepped back a little.

"Look I apologize for what I might have done." He said with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Patrick if I did tell you what was wrong, you still wouldn't understand."

"Look tell me so I know what I did wrong and I won't do it again."

"You don't understand I can't tell you that's the problem."

"God damn it Rose say what's on your mind. Don't hold back." Patrick said while waving his arms wildly above his head.

"It's my father! I've been through some horrible things that you wouldn't understand. Just all I want for you to do is leave me alone."

As I said those words to him he turned around and walked away but half way he stopped and said, "Like I said before Rose you're not getting rid of me that easily."

"Yeah I think I realized that already!" I yelled at him. I hate immature men like that. It bugs the crap out of me.

I began walking again but there is one thing that I don't understand. Why do I feel so guilty? I feel like it's my fault.

Crap.

"Patrick!" I yelled and ran towards his direction again and finally caught up with him. He turned around and saw me.

"If your coming to apologize...forget it." He kept on walking.

I stopped my walking, "Fine! I'm not going to bother. You're annoying, pushy, and not to mention you scare the crap out of me. People aren't that nice in this world...there is no such thing!"

"You know what!" He yelled and walked back towards me, "Sorry to burst your bubble. There is such a thing called nice people and I'm one of them. I'm just trying to be a good friend! I don't understand you! I'm telling you that I'm here for you! I'm a person....no I'm your friend who you can talk to. Why don't you want that?"

"I'm not allowed to have friends, I'm not aloud to be happy, and I don't care about people. So you're just wasting your time." I could feel hot tears building up and I'm trying so hard to keep them hidden.

"Who doesn't let you?"

"That's none of your business." I said with my arms wrapped around my chest.

"You see! That's what I mean Why do you let people control you?! You're a demonstration of a weak person, a person who gives up easily."

"You have no right to say that I'm weak! You don't know me well enough to be calling me things. You don't know what I have been through. I dont' want to turn out like my mother. So I keep my mouth shut and I will wait if I have too, to be able to have a chance to escape. I won't make the same mistakes she has made."

"Where has that gotten you besides having a person controlling your life and every single little things that you do. You think you're not making mistakes but let me say one thing. You are. My best advice for you is do push people away, especially the ones who wants to help."

"Well I'm sorry but be prepared for a lot of dissappointment."

He sighed and walked away. I felt hot tears streaming down my cheeks so I ran home. I arrived to my front door and walked inside. I saw Don lying on the couch sleeping. Lauren was gone for the so I went straight to my room. I locked my door because I don't trust Don. I threw my bag on the floor and laid on my bed and looked up at my ceiling. What if Patrick is right? I am weak and if I don't do anything about I probably would turn out to be like my mom. I got up and walked over to my window. I opened it and pulled up a chair. I looked around the floor to see if I can find something to throw at Andy's window. Andy has been living next door before I moved in the neighborhood. I found a pencil and decided that I have enough so it doesn't hurt to get rid of at least one. I threw it at his window and waited till I saw his light go on. He approached his window and he was only in his boxers. He opened it and leaned out.

"Did I wake you?" I asked Andy while covering my eyes.

"Yeah, but it's ok. Hold on let me put on a shirt." He said and I heard him open a drawer, "Ok you can open your eyes now."

I opened my eyes and he was wearing a Ramones tee-shirt, "Good to see clothes on you."

"Gee. Thanks. What you don't like my body?" He said jokingly.

"No."

"Wow you're nice." He says and laughs lightly while he pulled up a chair and sat down, "So what's up?"

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" I asked him and just stared at my hands.

"Not at all. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering, sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time and not doing anything with my life."

"You're not. You have a beautiful home and a father who loves you and a step-mom who loves you as if you as if you were her real child." He smiled at me while I laughed a little.

"Right well I'm tired. So I see you tomorrow at school?"

As I said those words to Andy, I heard him. I heard his clumsy footsteps approaching my bedroom door. He paused for a second and then began banging on the door. Then he began twisting the knob, "Rose! Why is your door locked?"

I panicked, "Andy shut your window and I'll see you at school."

I guess he noticed something was wrong because I could tell he was worried.

"No. Rose what's going on?"

"Andy please go before he finds you."

"Before he finds me? What are you talking about?" I noticed he was getting anxious now, "Let me go over there and keep you safe from whatever you're afraid of."

"Andy! No stay in your room and please stay quiet." I shut my window and only left it an inch open.

Don kicked down my door and looked furious. I saw him looking around and he walked over to my closet and opened it and looked inside. Then he looked under my bed and then my heart began beating so fast that it felt like it was about to burst out of my chest. He slowly walked over to my window and opened it and looked out. He found nothing. So now he was standing in front of me. He told me to sit on my bed and I did what I was told. I began feeling nervous.

"Rose. Why is it so hard for you to follow my rules?" He had his arms wrapped around his chest and I could tell he was drunk because he was slurring his words.

I just stayed quiet.

"Answer me!!!"

As he said those last two words I felt a burning sensation across my cheek. I realized that he slapped me. I got so mad that I shot up and began screaming at him, "You know what! I had enough! I'm tired of you and your beating. You're supposed to be my father...a person who is supposed to love me and protect me but I see that since you're a moron you're not capable of protecting no one not even yourself."

I saw that he was getting mad to a point I swear to god that he was going to blow.

"You have no right to talk like that to me! I'm your elder! So respect me!"

"I used to respect you but not anymore."

He slapped me once more and this time it hurt even more. I fell backwards and landed on my bed.

"Look at yourself. You're pathetic just like your mother. She tought she could disobey me and look where she is now. She is dead and that's where you will be if you don't shut your mouth." He chuckled and I didn't like the way he was looking at me, "Let's see if your better in bed then she was."

He threw himself on top of me. I couldn't believe what was happening I began getting dizzy. I'm scared I don't know what to do. I tired to push him off me but he was to strong. So I began building up my breath to let out a huge scream and once I was about to open my mouth he clamed it shut. I began tearing as I could feel his hand going up my side. Then I felt his body weight become lighter but then realized he was pulled off by someone. I got up and noticed Andy was punching Don. I looked at my window and it was wide open and I guess Andy crawled through. Andy broke Don's nose and it began gushing out blood.

"Touch her again and you'll be sorry." Andy threatens Don as he was standing in front of me.

"What are you going to do about it pipsqueak?" Don charged at Andy and pinned him against the wall and began choking him. I quickly got up and began punching Don. He turned around and punched me right in the eye and I fell towards the floor. He laughs at me and says, "Do you think you can hurt me? You're just a woman."

He went back to Andy and I got so mad that I stood up and grabbed Don's collar and turned him around and punched him then he flew towards the wall and was knocked out cold. I was breathing heavily and broke down. I started crying and it was my first time that I ever cried. It was painful my heart felt like it was about to burst. I fell on my knees then I heard feet rushing inside my room and looked up and it was the cops. Andy kneeled beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders trying to comfort me.

"Let me talk to the cops and I will tell them what happened. Do you want to come with me?" Andy whispered in my ear.

I just nodded my head yes and Andy and I stood up. The cop took out a little notebook and asked us some questions and of course Andy was the one answering the questions for me. I was watching them carrying Don away. Andy and the cop were finished and the cop said to me, "You are one of the lucky ones."

"Why do you say that?" I asked the cop.

"Don was charged for kidnapping and murder that he has done in the past. We couldn't track him down because he's been moving from state to state. So I have to say thank you for turning him in." He smiled and walked away.

"Let's go home." Andy said while he had his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"What do you mean home?" I looked at him confused.

"Well more like your home now. My mom and I are taking you in." He gave me a big smile.

"Shouldn't I be going some place else like I don't know an orphanage?"

He laughs, "I'll explain it to you in the morning. Let's get you home little sis."

"All right." We started heading back and I don't know what to think. I'm actually free. I don't have to face him anymore. Now I can live my life. I actually feel happy. I can't stop thinking about Patrick. I'm going to apologize to him tomorrow. I found myself smiling. I had the same feeling that I had earlier the chill running down my back. It keeps happening but it shouldn't really bother me. Should it?

I walked into the gym and it was huge. I sat down on the floor and I saw Katie sitting down next to her two friends. Then Patrick walked in the gym and saw me and started walking towards me but Katie stood up in front of him and said, "Hey um....Patrick I want to apologize for me being rude to you. So if you accept my apology you can sit with my friends and I."

Oh my god she is trying to take him away from me! Wait why I'm I worrying? It's not like I like the guy. I told myself just to take a deep breath and relax.

"Um no I rather go sit down next to my friend Rose." Patrick said and rolled his eyes at her.

Damn he referred me as his friend. What I'm I thinking he's a handsome guy. No man like that would love someone like me.

"Hey Rose. Strange how this turned out...I believe we have most of our classes together. How about we start walking together?" He said with an irresistible smile.

"Look I know what you are doing." I said with a sigh.

"Oh really?" He asked with very much interest.

"Yes I know I'm a freak and a loser and nobody likes me and what you are doing is....you're just being nice. I thank you for trying but you can drop the act." I said and turned my body to face the front and avoided to look at his face.

"I'm not being nice to you because I feel sorry for you. I'm doing it because you seem like a very sweet, smart, and wonderful girl. When I first walked into history my eyes went directly to you. Something keeps telling me, Patrick don't lose her, don't let her go. I don't know why but I'm not going to let you push me away."

What he said confused me so much. He doesn't know me at all and look he's acting like...never mind. How do I tell him that I can't talk to him? I can't be his friend or maybe more. We were sitting on the gym floor and the gym teacher told the girls to stand up and follow her to the girl's locker room to assign lockers and the boys will wait for their turn. We walked into the girl's locker room and the gym teacher handed us a piece of paper addressing our locker number and combination. She told us to search for our lockers and try out our new combination and if we need help she'll be more than happy to help us. As I was looking for my locker I was admiring the locker room, it had blue walls and blue lockers and thank god the showers had curtains up there is no way I am going to shower with no curtains. We get thirty minutes to shower and to get dressed. I went off and found my locker right away, mine was right by the door and my combination was very easy to figure out so I threw my gym clothes in the locker and sat down. A lot of the girls were having trouble opening their lockers. I saw Katie at the opposite side of the room and that was a relief, one class I sort of don't have to deal with her...well only in the locker room but who knows she probably will find a way to try to embarrass me. It was time for the guys turn so the ladies got out of the locker room and sat back down on the bleachers and then the guys left. I sat down and saw Alisa just barley walking the gym she saw me and waved. She walked over to me and sat down.

"Where were you?" I asked.

"I was late and so was Sean, lockers were jamed."

"Oh."

 "Yep and Sean just left to the boy's locker room."

"Oh ok." I'm not surprised that they have my gym class.

"So Patrick huh?"

"What about Patrick?" I asked and I can feel my face getting red.

"So I can see your starting to warm up to him."

"That is none of your business."

"I think he is also warming up to you." She said.

"Ok let's say I am warming up to him. Who cares it's not like he would ever like me in that way."

"That's where you are wrong my friend. I've come to noticed that he has some strong feelings towards you." She said with an approving smile.

"Can we please stop talking about this?" I said and she just laughed.

The guys were coming out of the locker room and I saw Patrick then Sean was right behind him. I looked at Alisa and she was staring at Sean with this love thrist. Sean was laughing and talking to Patrick. I looked at Alisa, "So Sean huh?"

She looks at me and smiles, "Oh shut up." She nudges me with her elbow.

The guys reached us and Sean sat down next to Alisa and Patrick sat down next to me and I smiled at Patrick. Alisa and Sean were talking about stupid things so I faced Patrick and asked him, "Is there something going on with Alisa and Sean?"

"Well Sean is in love with Alisa and Alisa is in love with Sean. They won't both admit their love for eachother. It's pretty obvious right?" Patrick said in a whispered and looked at them with a smile on his face.

"How long have they known eachother?"

"Well let's see I met Sean when I was thirteen and I met Alisa when I was fourteen. I'm fifteen so they known each other for two years if I did my math right."

"Wow.....and so what about you?"

"What about me?" He asked with slight interest.

"Is there anyone who you admire."

"Well I haven't found the right person yet to admire but I still have time right? Hopefully I will find her soon and someone will help me in the right direction."

I just smiled and lowered my head.

"Is something wrong?" He asked with as he lifted my chin so he can see my face. He looked straight into my eyes. I just moved my gaze away from his face and sighed.

"I have something to tell you but I don't know how to tell you."

"What is it? You can tell me anything I promise. I'm here for you." His words were so comforting.

"I...um..." Right when I was about to say it the bell rang, "nevermind I'll tell you later." I told him and gathered my things and was about to grab my messenger bag but Patrick grab it for me.

"Thanks."

"No problem." He said and put his hand on my shoulder then we all left for the cafeteria.

 

It was close to the end of the day and I was in my instruments class with Mrs. Hernandez. I had none of my new friends with me but the exciting thing is that I did have Andy. I spotted him sitting in one of the desks in the back and he saw me and smiled. He patted the desk that was next to him so I walked over and sat down. Andy leaned forward towards me and said, "Rumor has it you are friends with the new kids and a little more with one of the boys."

"What?" I asked pretending I didn't know what he was talking about but I knew exactly what he wanted to know.

"Is it true?"

"Well yeahI'm friends with Sean and Alisa and I'm not more than friends with Patrick."

"So his name is Patrick...eh?"

"You know what....stop." I said and turned to face the front.

"What ever happened that you are only going to keep me as a friend?" He asked but now whispering because the teacher was talking to the class.

"Andy honestly I don't know what happened. I'm more confused than you are." I told him while the teacher was telling us to write our names on the three sheets of paper and then put them in the cup of the instrument you want to play for the rest of the year.

"Well it doesn't matter. I'm happy you have new friends and you're happy." Andy was telling me while standing up with me right behind him to put our pieces of papers in the cups.

"What are you choosing?" I asked while I just stared at the cups.

"I decided I wanted percussion. How about you?" He asked while slipping in the piece of paper.

"Same here." I said and slipped the paper in the same cup.

We both sat down in companionable silence. Then Andy said one more thing.

"Promise me one thing."

"What is that Andy?"

"Please don't start hanging out with him too much because I don't want to lose my time with you."

"What are you going to get jealous?"

"Yes...Rose you're my best friend. I care about you and if he does anything bad to you...", He sighed,"will someone has to protect you." Andy gave me a smile.

"What you don't think I can protect myself?"

"That's not what I meant Rose?" He said as he placed his hand on mine.

"Right." I said to him

"Are you mad at me?"

"No Andy I'm not mad at you. I care about you as a brother and I know you're doing it because you feel the same way....well as a sister."

"Ok I'm happy you feel that way." He said.

A few minutes later Andy and I got what we wanted. We got our instruments and assigned our staffs. Andy and I were in the back with two other people who also had percussion. On the first day we got to try out our instruments. It was fun Andy and I were messing around the whole time. The class was over and my next class was Art. My instruments class and Art class were right next to each other. I hugged Andy goodbye and walked inside.

 

The final bell rang and the day was over. I went upstairs to my locker to get my coat and things. I got there and saw Patrick waiting for me at my locker. I walked over and noticed he looked mad. I wondered what happened but he still looks gorgeous with that face. I approached him and he sort of snapped out of it.

"What's wrong?" I asked him while working on my combination lock.

"Nothing." He replied but this time he was staring at his shoes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. Please don't ask me again if I'm ok." The way he said it surprised me. He rasied his voice at me and I won't allow that.

I just looked at,"I have to get home."

He looked surprised because I gave him the same tone of voice that he gave me, "What did I do?"

"Oh nothing at all. I have to get home."

"I'll walk with you."

"Don't bother." With that said I left the building and I was on my way to the hellhole that I live in.

ok im in a band and we r performing for a festival and i am terrifed!! the band has my closet friends.... let me introduce them to u...

Isavel (munkay)- Keyboardist

Jocelyn (theundeadcorndog)-lead vocals

Rodrigo-drummer

Christopher-guitarist

And the bad thing is we r looking for a bassist and im wondering if there is a awsome bassist in the chicago area!!! anybody plz contact me if u want to join.

 

thanks

love,

Jocy!!!

The kind of friend you are!

How can I describe the kind of friend you are.

It's really hard to know where to start because you are a friend to me in so many ways.

You're the friend...

Who can tell when I'm not fine, even if I say I am, the one who draws me out, not to pry, but because you really care about what I'm feeling.

You're the friend...

Who won't hesitate to do something totally goofy. Just for the sheer pleasure of cracking me up.

You're the friend...

Who remembers things I've said, the one who knows what I worry about, and the one I trust with my precious sercets.

I'm happy you're my friend because this adventure called "life" wouldn't be half as fun if I couldn't share it with you. 

 It was a Monday morning and it was my first day of school. I was lying in bed and I rolled over to face my alarm clock. I pressed on the snooze button then glanced at the time which read 6:05 a.m. I got up and got dressed, but before we get a little ahead, how about I introduce myself. My name is Rose. My dead mother's name is Grace and my father's is Don. My parents met at a night club. Grace at the time was single and she loved to dance. She was the center of attention, with her curves and the way she moved them. Every man drooled over her but one man caught her attention and yes it was Don. I don't know what she saw in him, maybe she fell in love with the rebellious look and she loves that in men. He always liked to watch Grace dance until one day he finally asked her to dance with him. She looked at him and slowly answered "Yes." They were dancing hand in hand. He bent down and whispered in her ear, "You look beautiful tonight. Let's get out of here." They were walking down the beaches of Chicago. Don stared straight into her eyes and was admiring her beauty and playing with her hair. He began bending down and Grace was on her toes to show that she was in the moment and that's when they shared their first kiss. A few years later she was going to have a child. Don was always out with his friends drinking and doing drugs while Grace stays at home cleaning. Grace looked like an angel even with make-up stains streaming down her eyes and covered in bruises. Don was never there to help her with the pregnancy. She went through a lot of pain and she had no one to help her out. After nine months were up she had me. Grace tried to take care of me but she felt guilty that she brought a daugther into this world and into an unstable home. So one day she decided she had enough. Don came home one night drunk and Grace went up to him. She started screaming at him and he kept pushing her away. She slaped him and he got mad and punched her she went flying towards the wall and she fell and hit the corner of her head against the coffee table. Let's say that was the end of my mother. I remembered it so well because i was standing in the doorway and watched my mother die. Since I witnessed my mother's death my father said if I ever told anyone he would do the same to me. So I 've become mute. I also promised myself to never fall in love with any man. They were monsters and every one of them was the same. You can never trust anyone in this world. I isolated myself from some poeple but till this day I live with Don and my step-mother Lauren. Now this is when the actual stroy begins.

I walked downstairs and I saw Don sitting at the kicthen table and Lauren was making breakfast.

"Rose you finally got your lazy ass up." Don said as he lowered his newspaper.

I just kept staring at the table top.

"Look at me when I talk to you, you little..." Don was about to finish what he was going to say but got interrupted by Lauren.

"Honey leave her alone. Today is her first day of school."

"Oh yeah it's your first day. I don't understand why we pay for her to go to school is she is stupid and won't learn a thing. For crying out loud the retard doesn't know how to talk."

With that comment I stood up and grab my bag and walked out of the house and left for school. Don diddn't even bother chasing after me. I was relieved because I remembered that one time I walked out of the house with my suitcase and decided to walk out and live my life Don ended up dragging me back in the house and whipped me with his belt. He whipped me so hard that I began to bleed. So from now on I don't even think about leaving. I took a deep breath and continued walking.

I was early for school because school starts at 8a.m. I like to wait outside and breathe in some fresh air before I face the horrors of school. Everyone that I had last year called me a freak and thinks that I'm a loser. There is one boy who does talk to me his name in Andy and he is a sophmore and obvioulsy I'm a freshmen. He lives next door, he doesn't know the truth about me but he makes me feel better when I feel sad. I saw him walking towards me. I moved over to make him some room. He finally reached me and sat down.

"Hey Rose. How was your summer?" Andy asked.

"Ok." Was all I could managed to say. He went on a trip with his family for the summer.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing important."

"Are you excited about your first year of highschool?"

"No."

"Oh it will be ok don't be worried you'll meet new people and make new friends."

"I highly doubt that and also I just want to keep you as a friend, ok Andy. I really don't think people will accept me. They never do." I said as I glanced at my watch and it read 7:30a.m. "We should start heading inside."

"Yeah I can give you a quick tour and show you where your locker and classes are." He said and picks up my bag and carries it for me.

We went inside and I told him my locker is on the second floor. I handed him my piece of paper and it read E080. We walked down the row of lockers and he pointed at mine. All my classes was in the section of the building where my locker was. He showed me how to open up my locker and bid me farewell. I started to put my things away. I was alone people were still in the breakfast area. I grabbed a notebook and my History book because that was my first class of the day. I looked at my schedule.

Pd.1-History-Ms. Gordon

Pd.2-English-Mr.Snyder

Pd.3-Gym-Mrs. Hayden

Pd.4-Lunch

Pd.5-Science-Mr. Birmingham

Pd.6-Algebra-Ms. Simpson

Pd.7-Algebra-Ms. Simpson

Pd.8-Instruments-Mrs.Hernandez

Pd.9-Art-Mr. Micheal

I sighed. The minute bell rang and young adults were panicking everywhere. I grabbed my trusty messenger bag and walked into the classroom.I sat twords the back and noticed Katie giving me one of those evil looks. Katie was in my class last year and she is the most popular girl in school. She got the looks but the worst reputation. All the girls want to be her and all the guys want to be with her. Supposedly she loves everyone but I know she talks about people behind thier backs. I'm one of those people who she really dislikes. She stood up from her seat and walks over to me and sits on the top of my desk.

"Hey freak. How was your summer? Did you make any money sleeping with guys, that's what your mom does right? Oh no wait, your mom is dead." Katie said with an evil 5 year old expression. The other girls surrounding Katie and I Began to laugh. I just sat there even though I wanted to punch her so bad. Then she went back to her seat and class began.

Twenty minutes into class there  was a knock on the door that interupted Ms.Gordonwhich was a blessing because it was my turn to introduce and talk about myself. The principle walked in and whispered something into Ms.Gordon's ear. Then she opened her mouth to speak.

"Ladies and gentleman, we have three new students that will be joining us in the school year. May I ask you that you be respectful?"

The three new students walked in and there were two boys and one girl. The first boy was tall had blue jeans, bald, and a green tee shirt on. He looked kind of muscular and freakishly big for his age. The second boy was a little shorter. He had glasses, black jeans, and a black tee shirt. I looked at him and thought he was gorgeous. He had the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. The girl looked lika model she had a perfect face but kind of pale but she still looked beautiful. She wore black skinny jeans, a black tee shirt with a black sweater. They all stood at the front of the class while Ms. Gordon introduced them to us.

"Say hello to Patrick Cowell, Alisa Griffin, and Sean Stewart. Welcome to your new highschool children. Patrick you can take a seat next to Rose and Alisa and Sean take a seat in those two empty desk in the back."

Ms. Gordon started talking about how important geography is in our everyday lives. The boy named Patrick was sitting next to me and he had his eyes closed and looked in deep thought. Ms. Gordon who was trying to be sneaky tried to get Patrick off guard and asked, "Patrick what is the latitude and longitude of Washington D.C.?"

Patrick kept his eyes closed and answered, "35 degrees N and 45 degrees E."

"That's correct and exact too. Good job."

I moved my gaze back to Patrick and he was looking at me. I panicked and looked at my notebook and began doodling. Then I heard his beautiful voice ask me, "I've noticed you've been looking at me. Why?"

I didn't answer him.

"So you are a shy one?"

"No she is just a freak who decides not to tak and keeps her mouth shut because she finally realized she is a pathetic loser." Katie said who sat two desks away and was obviously eavesdropping.

"I'm sorry I believe I didn't ask you. So maybe next time may you please keep your mouth shut?" Patrick said to Katie and that shocked both Katie and I while you can hear Alisa and Sean laughing.

"How dare you talk to me like that! Do you know who you are talking to? I'm the most popular girl in school and no one ever talks to me like that!" Katie yells at Patrick.

"Well I don't care who you are. You had no right to talk to Rose like you did. So why not treat you the same way." Patrick said with a smirk on his face.

Ms. Gordon realized what was going on and she turned away from the chalkboard. She was about to say something to them but the bell rang and the first class was over and everyone got up and left quickly. While everyone was leaving I saw Katie give me one of the most evil looks she has ever given me. I knew I was in trouble with her.

"If she does something to you, you come straight to me." Patrick said kindly and smiled at me.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I was shocked that I have spoken to somebody especially him. I don't even know him.

"Why not?" He said and grab my hand and pulled me along following the other two of his friends.

He walked me to my second class. I was confused how did he know what was my next class going to be? Why is he talking to me? For this class I had Alisa. I walked in and she was already seated. She signaled me to sit next to her and to my surprised I walked over and sat down. What is wrong with me I promised myself not to talk to anyone or else Don will have a big fit. She does seem like a nice girl. What should I do? She turned her chair towards me and asked me, "Why don't you talk to anyone?" Her voice sounded so sweet.

"Um...I don't want to talk about it." Om my god how do they keep doing that. I promised myself I wasn't going to make friends and say a word because I don't want Don making me hurt their feelings by pushing them away or him hurting them, but it seems as they are controlling me to make me talk.

"You know I'm a very nice person and I won't judge you."

"Oh that's convincing."

"I'm telling you the truth. I never lie, well sometimes but I don't lie to people I like, and you seem like a pretty cool person." She said with a smile on her face. A smile that makes you feel at ease. She does seem like a very nice person.

"What period lunch do you have?" I asked her and she seemed to approved that I asked her that question.

"4th period."

"Me too. Would you like to join me?"

"Sure." She said with the biggest smile I've ever seen.

Then the bell rang. I can't believe I've spent a whole period talking and without the teacher having a problem with it. I skipped a whole period of english. I was walking to my locker and grabbed my gym clothes. Then  I was on my to gym and spotted Katie up against the wall. She saw me and walked over. I thought she was going to punch me or somthing. She just slapped my books and they went tumbling down towards the floor. All she did was laugh and just walked away.

"Here let me help you." I looked up and it was Andy.

"Thanks Andy." I gave him a sweet smile.

"Wow since when did you start smiling?"

"I don't know but I have to get going." I told Andy and gave hima quick hug. Andy gave me a shocked look and I actually giggled. On my god what's wrong with me today.

i want to post my story that i'm working on and it's called The Angel's Desire but i have my doubts. I want to to publish it. omg that would be awsome......ok i had made my decision i will post my story. i hope u guys will enjoy it!!!!!

I've noticed and probably some other people have noticed to I've been gone for a while. I'm in a flower shop. It's one and only thing but my step dad is fixing the lights and I'm on the computer and playing around with helium. I was running around yelling WEEEEEEE!!!!!!! until I ran into a wall. Let's see what I have been up to.....................................................Wait no nevermind.........................................................................................I haven't really been doing much. Oh I'm learning percussion in highschool I get to bang on drums everyday. but that doesn't matter. But oh well I would like to say to all my friends on buzznet HELLO!!!! and i really miss you guys im sorry for not being there.
I miss you and MMMMUUUUAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ok i've been busy with babysitting my stepbro and stepsis and my cousin so I haven't been able to be on for a while and also i've been helping my mother around the house. I just been told my mother is bringing a new member to the family. I hope is a boy! So if I hurt anybody's feeling for not answering back messages i'm sorry but i'm going to keep trying to get on buzznet more often.

I love this one movie called Dead Silence so I felt like writing the poem from the movie in a journal..... that's how bored I am.

 

BEWARE THE STARE OF MARY SHAW.

SHE HAS NO CHILDREN, ONLY DOLLS.

IF YOU SEE HER IN YOUR DREAMS, BE

 SURE YOU NEVER SCREAM OR

SHE'LL RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT AT THE SEAM.

THE ONLY THING THAT WILL KEEP YOU SAFE IS SILENCE.....